Mr. Coco is a crab-lobster thing, stood in a shoe shop selling pretend shoes.

Screenshot: Nintendo / Kotaku

You don’t must be a Splatoon aficionado to have the ability to recognise good. Mr. Coco, an infinite wife-beater-wearing crab-like who runs a shoe store, is purest goodness. That’s simply stable good. The shop is known as Crush Station, and that is unnecessary on any stage. Perfection.

In in the present day’s astonishingly dreary Splatoon 3 Direct, the place they have been capable of take a second away from describing the shades of gray showing within the recreation’s foyer, we abruptly sat up and took discover on the look of Mr. Coco.

Nintendo

“Get quite a lot of cool kicks right here,” says the paid-to-be-enthused voiceover woman, “from trainers to sandals, and even leather-based footwear.” I really like that “even”! Like, wow, by some means they managed to program in that the majority tough and elusive of textures! She then provides, “It’s owned by Mr. Coco. He would possibly look intimidating, however…”

Wait, cease! Look intimidating?! He seems just like the friendliest stack of poorly rendered circles you would hope to satisfy. I genuinely have kabourophobia (I simply regarded up the title)—I can’t look straight at a crab with out my total physique wanting to tear itself aside at an atomic stage—and I wish to give this man a hug. Intimidating he’s not.

Why are we not on first-name phrases with this…effectively, we’re calling him a crab. He’s obtained crab pincers, and wears a t-shirt with a crab on it, however man-alive, that’s not a crab’s face. He seems to have a proboscis? And apparently solely 4 limbs, two of that are tiny legs. The furry chest is a complete different matter. I believe perhaps he’s extra lobster than crab? Look, I’m not a crustalogist. I simply needed to Google Picture Seek for lobsters to see if they’ve such protrusions, which they do, however now my insides are manufactured from wiggling worms of upset and hazard.

The footwear he sells will apparently provide you with benefits within the recreation, reminiscent of upping operating velocity, or ink resistance. Though you then should unlock mentioned talents by sporting the merchandise in battles. Which isn’t actually how footwear work, except you rely this as “sporting them in.” What I’m saying is, have a stroll round Mr. Coco’s emporium a number of instances before you purchase them.

Mr. Coco, you might be Splatoon 3‘s break-out characteristic, regardless of shut competitors with that dumbass manta ray, Large Man.

 

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